A LETTER TO MY LATE BROTHER, JOE

My little brother, I can’t begin to express the emptiness I feel for losing you. I still don’t want to imagine that I will never see you, get to laugh with you or get annoyed by your ass or have any physical presence of you. I know that we all want you to rest but months after your death, I really wonder if you are in the right place.
I just really wonder, have you managed to make any friends on that other side of the world? Are you happy in your new world? Is peace your BFF my nigga? Sad that even though we all viewed your body, it does not feel enough for me. I still wanna see you one last time. It’s the emptiness and the longing for your presence, the frustrating fury I feel towards life and the stupid hands of time, stopping for you.
Sometimes you are everywhere and it makes me remember how you’d sometimes boss me around, just because 🙂 and I feel like you’re around and you still doing it. It is so weird coz I never thought you’d haunt me and neither did I expect you to die so young. Siblings are for life and nothing can fully feel the hole you have left.
I miss you Joe, so much and I’m still in deep shock that you’re really DEAD! Losing you was losing several chapters of our childhood, an irreplaceable piece of us. I am certain that if we all could turn back the hands of time, we’d kill something just so we can spend more time together and even then it wouldn’t be enough.

Thank you for giving life meaning.

Yours Truly.

Jill’s Chance To Life

‘This is hard… It’s absolutely challenging… I love challenges,’ she thought as she zipped up the new bag she had just filled up various stuff that she thought she needed. In his eyes, she could see the future. For the first time in her life, Jill wanted to scream and shout so that the whole world would get a picture of how happy he had made her. She still couldn’t find the right words to express her joy towards him. Like who just ups and gives you a new life without asking for anything in return? He didn’t even want her love. He only wanted her to be happy and filthy rich. Again, what man wants to give a lady that doesn’t want him the financial freedom? Her heart beat for him, so loud and insane that she thought she’d have those bad palpitations she had been having for drinking coffee.

Jill was a happy girl, most of the time. She had this infectious smile, laughable and so quick to forgive and forget. But she never forgot how many times he had let her down. So for this to be happening, it had to be a dream. She was a very fashionable girl, cute round face, small almost round ass and fit in general. Her skin was next to flawless and she really loved her smokes. She functioned better with skunk in her system. She could be crazy if she wanted to but most of the time, she was a happy girl and thus, her demons were kept at a bay. She looked at her phone again and wondered what the fuck her bestie was doing… AWAY FROM HER DAMN PHONE!

She had so many calls to make and so many people to bid goodbye to but she was too busy to even think of picking up the phone and start chitchatting. ‘Phoebe best be under or on top of someone right this minute,’ she thought as she dialed her number again. They should be done packing in just less than twenty, but the bitch was not even picking up. She put her phone on top of the dining table and exhaled deeply. Maybe she should just do it and then later they can light up a joint and get skunked… Or just have a few puffs and get revitalized and shit would just flow to her. It was exhausting packing. She went to the balcony and lit herself a joint. Man! She really,really loved her weed. She was going to miss doing this. Her life was about to change, and for good. She would work hard and make the change herself. It didn’t matter that she would have to stay late in the night working or working three jobs, all Jill wanted was financial stability.

Her life’s course changed when she started reading books. She saw how wrong her approach to life was and how stuck she had been in the same cycle. Wrong choice of men, wrong friends, wrong fashion and mostly wrong usage of her now sexy, brain. She’d dreams of being a pilot once, but that just like her other plans was a thing in her mind. She loved living in her head mostly because she felt that nobody understood her. Then she met her best friend. Same dreams although Phoebe knew a lot about life than she did. Reminiscing on all this on just a few puffs of the devil’s spinach always reminded her of why she needed to quit smoking it. But she wouldn’t kid herself that much, she knew. Skunk was life, it was her energy drink. She never allowed herself to think deeply about the with withdrawal she’d have to go through with her soon to change life…

Back to reality. She was standing in the middle of her overly spacious living room, with her remaining stuff everywhere. Slowly and still very ‘zoned’, she stuffed the rest of her stuff into the rest of the cases and zipped them up.  She knew she’d miss her regular night clubs, her very crazy family and especially her Phoebe because she was totally irreplaceable. But oh well,it was time to go make that money bitches!!!

 

Honey

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I have missed you so. Time we have spent together?  Not enough.  I wanna lay next to you every night and wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life.
You have showed me love, taught me how to talk about myself, I still suck at it but well, made me rediscover myself again.
But hey, never stop believing in me. I would be lost without you. It’s your smile and how gentle your strong hands feel on my skin.
I love how you kiss me and play with me. But more, it’s how you have brought so much change in my life. Baby, I feel loved and cared for. I wanna return the favor, so gimme a chance to show you.